I Killed You a Dozen Times
An art project by Kris 'Curtiz' De Meester
I killed you a dozen times, but you won’t go away. Maybe it’s because you’ve killed me first. You obliterated my world and left me to die. Out in the cold, on a strange new globe. But then I realised, I did this to myself.
"I Killed You a Dozen Times" immerses observers in a captivating exploration of the aftermath of a traumatic breakup. The protagonist, driven to erase the other person from their existence, finds themselves exiled to a chilling and unfamiliar realm. As they confront the relentless echoes of their pain, the boundaries between reality and imagination blur, creating a surreal and introspective experience. Through video and mixed media art, this project delves into the depths of loss, unveiling the lingering emotional reverberations that shape our lives long after love is lost.
'I Killed You a Dozen Times' combines a short film/video installation (single screen, 6 minutes 21 seconds) with a series of original Polaroid based collage mixed media pieces (17 works, 50 x 50 cm).
Content:
- Video Installation / Short Film
- Reviews
- Credits
Video Installation / Short Film (do not publish)
Polaroid Mixed Media Series
Festivals / Exhibitions
July, 2023: Moving Body Festival at Rubik Art Center (Varna, Bulgaria)
July, 2023: Signs of the Night Bangkok at the Thai Film Archive (Bangkok, Thailand)
July, 2023: Experimental Brasil (Rio De Janeiro, Brazil)
July-September, 2023: 'Study of a Killing' at Kunsthal (Ghent, Belgium)
August, 2023: Alternating Currents at Figge Art Museum (Davenport, USA)
September, 2023: 16th Arizona Underground Film Festival (Tucson, USA)
October, 2023: 21th Signes de Nuit (Paris, France)
October, 2023: 58th Dimitria Arts Festival/Thessaloniki International Short Film Festival
October, 2023: 27th Videomedeja International New Media Art Festival (Serbia)
October, 2023: International Experimental Film Festival Athens (Greece)
October, 2023: 'Best Experimental Film' at Mannheim Arts & Film Festival (Germany)
October, 2023: International Experimental Film Festival Athens (Greece)
October, 2023 - June, 2024: OGA Visual Art Exhibitions (Rome, Italy)
November, 2023: 10th Goa Short Film Festival (India)
November, 2023: Lisbon Film Rendezvous International Showcase (Portugal)
November, 2023: Fresh Streams (Tbilisi, Georgia)
November, 2023: 7th Festival internazionale Segni della notte (Urbino, Italy)
December 2023: 'Best Experimental Film' at Dreamachine (North-Hollywood, USA)
Sittannavasal International Film Festival (India)
13th Pune Short Film Festival (India)
Cine Paris Film Festival (France)
Artist Statement: Exploring the Depths of Loss and our Dark Side
The brutal loss of someone special is an experience that has touched us all at some point in our lives. Whether it is the heart-wrenching breakup with a lover, the devastating departure of a dear person, or even the profound loss of an animal companion, the emotions that accompany such events are complex and difficult to articulate. A mix of sadness, desperateness, and anger intertwine, creating a tumultuous journey through the depths of our souls.
With my project, "I Killed You a Dozen Times," I embarked on a creative exploration of these visceral and raw emotions, seeking to evoke the depths of sorrow and pain without offering solace or resolution. It is an artistic study that delves into our darkest side, unraveling the multifaceted aspects of loss and the powerful forces it awakens within us.
Through the medium of a short film and a video installation, I aimed to create an immersive experience that draws viewers into the turbulent realm of profound loss. The visual narrative unfolds, capturing fragments of memories, haunting imagery, and moments frozen in time. The film's evocative visuals and the installation's atmospheric ambiance engage the viewer in an introspective journey through the complexities of grief.
In conjunction with the film, I have created a series of 17 Polaroid-based mixed media works. These works serve as tangible expressions of the intangible emotions that accompany loss. The Polaroids, captured in moments of vulnerability and rawness, become the foundation upon which I build layers of diverse media. By combining elements such as paint, ink, collage, and found objects, I aim to convey the multidimensionality of our emotional responses to loss, offering glimpses into the raw energy that lies beneath the surface.
"I Killed You a Dozen Times" does not seek to provide answers or alleviate the pain that accompanies loss. Instead, it serves as a mirror, reflecting the shadows that reside within us all. It invites viewers to confront their own darkness, exploring the depths of their emotions and acknowledging the complexities of their own journeys through grief. By delving into this collective human experience, my intention is to provoke introspection and encourage dialogue about the universal aspects of loss that bind us together as individuals and communities.
In embracing our own dark side, we find the strength to confront our emotions and embrace the profound beauty that lies within the realm of loss. "I Killed You a Dozen Times" serves as a catalyst for personal growth, providing a platform for healing and understanding in the face of life's most profound challenges.
Reviews
Review by Shane McKevitt (Venice Film Week):
I Killed You a Dozen Times utilizes its title as a refrain, spoken by the narrator, as they bemoan a fruitless relationship. The film plays with the audience’s senses, both audibly and visually, keeping them constantly on edge. The camera voyeuristically passes over partially clothed women, lying motionless on the floor. The women, exposed and fragile, are a visualization of the emotional toll endured by the narrator.
Moreover, the soundtrack emits a constant whirr, creating a palpable tension that’s never broken. Again, this mirrors the narrator’s perpetual, unanswered inquiry into why. All in all, the film exhibits an equal parts disturbing and eye-opening look at the post-breakup healing process. The combination of violent imagery, poignant narration, and acute sound design construct a unique, tangible representation of one’s incorporeal inner struggle.
Review by Jane Ching (Sundance Hong Kong, Honk Kong Arthouse Film Festival):
"I Killed You a Dozen Times expertly uses the power of visual language and sound to communicate complex emotions and experiences. Through its striking imagery and sound design, together with the emotive poetry recited by the narrator, the film masterfully portrays the agony and emotional struggles stem from toxic relationships, a subject that is often challenging to express in words. The film's ability to vividly visualize and depict such complex emotions is a testament to its remarkable use of audio-visual storytelling."
Review by Moving Body Festival:
"Dive with us into Kris De Meester and Izah Hankammer's experimental essay - I Killed You a Dozen Times. The production deals with a post-breakup trauma - a familiar theme presented in an extraordinary way that will captivate your senses and open new broad corridors of thought."
Quote by Signs of the Night Bangkok (Thai Film Archive)
“A surreal and thought-provoking experience.”
Credits
Written, cinematography, photography, edited and directed by Kris De Meester
Staged by Izah Hankammer
Assisted by Miss C
Additional art work by Terrorista
AI voice by Natural Reader
Music by Joo Woon Park
Produced by Kris De Meester, Maarten Cornelis, Raj Kosaraju, Sean Talo, Oriana Szwarc, Cherise Silvestri.
Film: 6 minutes 21 seconds - Shot on iPhone - English spoken.
Photo series: 17 original Polaroid based collage and mixed media pieces (50 x 50 cm/each).
Study: 'Study of a Killing', exhibited at Kunsthal Ghent from July 14 until September 3rd, 2023
Stills, Trailer of the video installation / short film
Biography
Kris 'Curtiz' De Meester (born in 1972 in Sint-Niklaas, Belgium) is a multifaceted artist, known for his contributions as a film director, photographer, casting director, and visual artist. Since 1992, his creative journey has been fueled by an unwavering fascination with the intricacies of human nature.
With a background as a casting director, Kris has lent his expertise to numerous arthouse films, collaborating with acclaimed directors such as Lars von Trier on "Nymphomaniac," Thomas Vinterberg on "The Command," Koen Mortier on "Ex-Drummer," Terrence Davies on "A Quiet Passion," Philippe Grandrieux on "Un Lac," and Timo Vuorensola on "Iron Sky," among many others. His discerning eye for talent and ability to connect actors with their roles have contributed to the success and authenticity of these cinematic works.
Kris De Meester's multifaceted artistic career has extended beyond his own projects, as he has also made significant contributions to the works of prominent contemporary artists. Notably, he served as production manager for Marie-Jo Lafontaine's captivating video installations, including the thought-provoking pieces 'Dark Pool' (2007) and 'La Chute' (2000). Additionally, his expertise as a casting director led to regular consultations by acclaimed artist Hans Op de Beeck, who sought his assistance in casting models for his evocative artworks.
In addition to his work in casting, Kris De Meester has proven himself as a skilled writer and director. He made his directorial debut with the black and white vignette film "Four Roses," which garnered critical acclaim and received several awards. The film's theatrical release in Belgium and the Netherlands further established Kris as a promising filmmaker. Expanding his creative repertoire, Kris went on to adapt Dostoevsky's renowned novel "Notes From the Underground" into his second feature film, "Johnny Walker," showcasing his ability to delve into the depths of complex literary narratives.
Throughout his artistic journey, Kris De Meester has embraced various forms of expression, including video art, photography, and painting. His experimentation and exploration within these mediums have yielded remarkable results, with his earlier art pieces finding buyers from around the world. However, it is with his current project, "I Killed You a Dozen Times," that Kris takes his first steps into the international art scene with a multimedia approach, further expanding the boundaries of his artistic vision.
Driven by a profound curiosity about the human experience, Kris De Meester's work serves as a contemplative exploration of our collective emotions, desires, and struggles. His multidisciplinary approach allows him to capture the raw essence of these themes, inviting viewers to reflect, empathize, and engage in the universal aspects of the human condition.
As Kris continues to evolve and experiment within the realm of art, his distinctive voice and dedication to authenticity remain steadfast. With each new project, he pushes the boundaries of his creative practice, contributing his unique perspective to the global artistic landscape and inviting audiences to join him on a thought-provoking and transformative journey through the depths of human existence.
